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Can This Marriage Be Saved?

  Marriage counseling is like assembling an airplane in flight. It is highly stressful, highly volatile and potentially explosive. Not all psychologists are trained to work with couples and if not, they can do more harm than good. Unlike traditional therapy for individuals, the most effective couple’s therapy does not plumb the unconscious or delve […]

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Why Can’t My Child Make Friends?

A pretty 10-year-old girl sat across from me in the office tearfully struggling, “I don’t understand why I don’t have friends. Amanda’s (another girl in her class) teeth stick out like mine, but the kids will play with her, so it isn’t that. I am smart like Brad (another boy in her class) and he […]

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How to Free Yourself From The Chains of Regret

If you could start your life over, what would you do differently? When it comes to regret, the person you most often must forgive is yourself.

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Why Do People Cut Themselves?

It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense pressure or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear or bad situations they think can’t change.

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Building Intimacy Vital in Marriage

The hardest quality to build into a marriage is intimacy, both sexual and psychological. Our culture over the last 25 years has emphasized the sexual at the expense of the psychological. Intimacy is a fundamental need for human beings.  It means being able to share our innermost self with someone else and having that sharing […]

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The Burden of Shame

I saw a woman in her 60s who told me through tears how she had become pregnant at 15 and did not tell her family until she went into labor at home.

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Fretting and Regretting Decisions

How many times has this happened to you?  You firmly decide what you’re going to do, whether going to the gym or asking your boss for a raise or placing a call to a friend; but then you end up doing exactly what you did not intend to – sitting on the couch, letting another […]

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Being right or being happy

I was asked the following question, “Why do I always have to be the one to control my anger?  Why is it always me?  My wife gets to say her piece, but when I do, I am ‘out of control’”.  I agree that there is some stereotyping that only men have anger problems and only […]

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“I love him(her), I am just not in love with him(her) anymore.”

I hear those words with some regularity when I work with couples on their marriage issues.  There is a sadness when the words are spoken and often a resignation suggested, such as, “It’s just too damn bad we can’t do anything about it.” I do not believe in that kind of doom.  If we were […]

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Parenting and Passing On Life Experience

If there were a contest for the one activity on the planet that parents try most often and fail at most regularly, I’d vote for “passing on life experience.”  With all the research drug companies do, you would think they would come up with a pill, maybe an injection directly into the head, that would […]

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